"After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi."
I can't believe it!!! The final chapter of the series which polarised and ostracised me from every other horror fan is over!!! And guess what? They saved the best for last! Oh my God, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2" rocks! I hate to say it, but I TOLD YOU SO!
Bella is now a beautiful vampire, her half-mortal child with Edward is growing fast, and Jacob takes his shirt off for the last time. For some of us, the latter is a relief. The romance is still there, but now it's more adult and complicated. Plus the Volturi are back with a vengeance!
The thing which everyone has been moaning and whining about since the very first "Twilight" movie has finally happened... this one is a HORROR movie! Yes, real horror! We're shown a full-on epic battle between Cullens, Quileutes and Volturi with decapitations, dismemberments, gore, and the cruel deaths of several main characters!!!
What will all the fairweather horror fans and douchebag movie reviewers have to complain about now even though they'll all be heading to their local cinemas to watch this film anyway? If any of those hypocrites dare to say that "Breaking Dawn - Part 2" is a pile of crap, they'll just be lying to save face.
Prepare to be shocked, horrified, and maybe even cry a little bit when it's all over. I won't give away what happens until after the next picture, but I found it all very emotional.
If you don't want spoilers, stop reading now!
Okay, so if you've read the books (or watched the trailer), you know what happens anyway. For those of us who haven't, here's a quick summary of the events.
Everything is fun and games for Edward, Bella and Renesmee (their stupidly named daughter). Bella and Edward are working their way through Alex Comfort's "The Joy of Sex" books, Jacob is happily imprinted with "Nessie" (he's nicknamed her after the Loch Ness monster!), and only Charlie Swan's life is in turmoil as he believes that Bella has died. But even Charlie's grief is short-lived after Jacob shows up in his backyard, turns wolfy in front of him, and reveals that Bella is still alive although changed.
Unfortunately, this status quo can't last or we'd have another film as boring as "New Moon". As much as I love "Twilight", I'm the first to admit that "New Moon" sucked. So, to put a spanner in the works, sexy Irina (Maggie Grace) just has to oversee Renesmee leaping high in the air to catch snowflakes. Without giving Bella the chance to explain, Irina runs off to the Volturi to tell them erroneously that the heinous crime of making an infant vampire has been committed.
And so it comes to pass that the Cullens have to assemble an army of witnesses to validate Renesmee's identity and true nature. They travel all over the world (or at least America) to bring their friends together in preparation for a confrontation with the Volturi. Fearing the Volturi's ulterior motives, Alice (Ashley Greene) and Jasper have their own agenda, and have apparently fled.
Thus, just after Christmas, the Cullens, aided by the Quileutes and their other interesting new allies, march out to meet the Volturi. Of course, the Volturi are barely able to accept the truth about Renesmee even when presented with her right in front of them. They want war and are looking for any excuse even when Alice returns and gives Aro (Michael Sheen) her vision as proof that Renesmee is no threat. Her vision half convinces him but then seems to inspire Aro to command a greater punishment. Without warning, Jasper gets his head pulled off and all Hell breaks loose!
It's now that "Breaking Dawn - part 2" stuns everybody and really tugs on the old heartstrings as Carlisle rushes across the snow-covered battlefield to save Alice and gets decapitated, magical powers are unleashed as weapons, and there's bloodshed aplenty!!! Various werewolves die screaming in acts of bravery and, even though we barely know them, the new vampire allies are decimated. It's horrible!!! The Volturi suffer too.
Dakota Fanning is beautifully made up and gives everyone a world of pain to go with her evil looks while Bella protects everyone the best she can with a forcefield. Right, left and centre, the werewolves maul the vampires, and the opposing vampires pull each other's heads off! Just a little drop more blood and this would have earned an R-rating for sure!
The action is top notch, exciting, and has some great choreography. Even the CGI is used well although, personally, I've always thought that the werewolves were a little bit too large to be believable. Jacob's werewolf form is the size of a horse which is taken advantage of by Renesmee as she rides him to safety.
Kristen Stewart finally proves she can change her expression from dour to fierce, and, even though she looks horrid in the process, she really kicks some ass in the battle. If only she'd been this good in "Snow White and the Huntsman" rather than cheating on Robert Pattinson maybe people would still like her. She's definitely got the moves and the looks though so I couldn't hate the Trampire for long.
With everyone dying, Alice wades through the mayhem to take out Jane (Dakota Fanning), and the combined efforts of Edward and Bella destroy Aro... but then there's a twist which is absolutely fantastic!
The battle NEVER HAPPENED! It's all part of Alice's vision! Oh, yes, there will be gasps and cheers from the audience!
Okay, it may be a bit of a cop-out ending - the shocked Aro decides that it's best if they just go home and leave the Cullens in peace - but it's done so beautifully! I didn't know whether to cheer or cry. I was so relieved that I was choked. I'm not ashamed to admit that as a fully grown man rather than a 13-year-old girl either.
The final minutes with Edward telling Bella that he'll love her forever wrap this romance up nicely, but I wish there was more. I want more adventures. I want to see Jacob and "Nessie" get together. I don't want it to end!
I've loved the "Twilight" franchise, looked forward to each new movie every year, and now I really don't know what to do with myself. It's a good job that I have a new blog to play with. The haters will just have to leech onto "The Hunger Games" and try to spoil the enjoyment of that franchise for everyone. I'm tempted to join them, but I probably won't. I've actually started to appreciate "The Hunger Games" too now.
Anyway, it's goodbye to Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Farewell to "Team Jacob" and "Team Edward" rivalry (I was always "Team Alice" myself). I've lusted over the pretty vampire girls for the last time and eaten twice my own weight in M&Ms in the process. I'm going to miss "Twilight".