Summer is here! We're back to temperatures of 90 degrees, already had a couple of big-budget sci-fi movies at the cinema, and the Eurovision Song Contest has come and gone far too quickly, so now it's time for me to get back to blogging with something more interactive than usual.
I've been watching a lot of "The Munsters" recently for my other blog, and although I have several ideas for top ten lists based on the classic TV show, there haven't been ten Marilyn Munsters yet. Thus, instead of ranking them myself, I thought I'd give you the chance to vote on who was the hottest Marilyn Munster of all time.
I don't really like blondes, and I barely ever registered the Marilyn character, so I don't have any opinion about this subject at all. It's just a bit of fun. Cast your vote in the comments section below.
Beverley Owen (1964)
The first Marilyn Munster. She appeared in the pilot and the first 14 episodes of Season One.
Pat Priest (1964-1966)
The second Marilyn who continued until the end of Season Two.
Debbie Watson (1966)
From the theatrical movie "Munster, Go Home".
Jo McDonnell (1981)
From the TV movie "The Munsters' Revenge".
Mary-Ellen Dunbar (1988)
From "The Munsters Today" pilot.
Hilary Van Dyke (1988-1991)
Marilyn in "The Munsters Today" TV series which nobody ever watched more than a couple of episodes of before hating it. How this crap lasted for three seasons when the original series only had two is a complete mystery.
Christine Taylor (1995)
I've never seen the "Here Come the Munsters" TV movie and don't intend to.
Elaine Hendrix (1996)
From "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas". Another TV movie which I didn't know even existed.
Charity Wakefield (2012)
And, finally, the new Marilyn from last year's terrible "Mockingbird Lane" reboot which, unfortunately, I have seen.
"When Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution."
Since I reviewed the original "Iron Man" movie years ago and then decided not to ever review "Iron Man 2" because it was a load of arse, I can't say that I was expecting anything more out of this second sequel. With such a low opinion of this dreck, I wasn't disappointed either. "Iron Man 3" is yet another big-budget, kiddified superhero movie for tweenagers and 40-year-old comicbook nerds who still live in their parents' basement.
The funny thing is that even I kind of enjoyed it in places although the story is really only a cobbled together version of elements from "Batman Forever", "The Dark Knight Rises", and Pierce Brosnan era James Bond with loads of CGI robots and explosions just for the hell of it. To say that 'Iron Man 3" is like a Michael Bay film but with slightly better dialogue is the best way I can think of describing it.
As usual, lapses in logic and plot holes abound, characterisation is minimal except for Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), and the acting skills of everyone except Robert Downey Jr. are completely lost among all the bang, boom, bang and special effects. There's nothing really wrong with any of that in a Summer movie though so it's not worth criticism. This isn't depressingly dull Oscar material after all.
I liked seeing Rebecca Hall from "The Awakening" (2011) even with an American accent. There are a lot better uses which that sexy mouth of hers could be put to instead of over rhotacization, but she does a good job nonetheless. Between her and Stephanie Szostak, there's a bit of a battle going on as to who is the hottest actress in the movie. Sorry, Pepper Potts fans, but until the very end of the movie, it's never likely to be Gwyneth Paltrow.
Guy Pearce is okay as Edward Nygma, I mean Aldrich Killian, and it's a shame that he never made more films in the same vein as "L.A. Confidential" when he was top of his game. Seeing a great actor like this, and also Ben Kingsley, reduced to playing about in movies for little kids is sad. Paul Bettany only used for the voice of a computer? That's just a crime.
If you're looking for a fun night out with lots of action, nothing heavy to think about except the nauseating patriotic messages, and the kind of world-travelling changes of location like Bond movies used to have, then "Iron Man 3" is for you. You'll get a bit of a post-movie buzz out of it for sure.
If you leave before the end credits, there is even the false hope for a moment that this is the last we'll see of Iron Man getting everything destroyed and then putting it all back together again for a while. That's something pretty great in and of itself.
"A journey that takes one man into the bowels of black magic in Mexico City."
While I was out taking my thousands of empty Monster cans to the recycling bin, I decided to have a quick look at the new releases in Target and came across this little gem. By "gem", however, I do actually mean "an obscure 8 year old former Miramax/Dimension title which has finally been released by Lionsgate".
Fearing the worst of any DVD with the words "Robert Rodriguez presents" on its artwork, I didn't buy a copy of it but waited until I got home again to watch it online. It's not directed by Robert Rodriguez (nor is its real director Eduardo Rodriguez any relation to him) so I figured it would be worth a "rental".
Set in a similar grainy-looking, washed-out world as "Borderland" (2007) but played like a gorier mixture of "Constantine" (2005) and "Night Watch/Day Watch" (2004/2006), "Curandero" is very much a product of that time and tries hard to be another cult action-horror. If it hadn't been for those other movies and all the financial shenanigans at Miramax, it may have succeeded back then too.
The characters are actually quite good although very similar to the heroes and villains of Timur Bekmambetov's adaptations of Sergei Lukyanenko's "Dozor" tetralogy. Carlos the charismatic curandero isn't a million miles away from being Anton Gorodetsky from "Night Watch" complete with hallucinations, and his enemy Castaneda (Gabriel Pingarrón) is really only a far more spiteful version of Zavulon. Castaneda is almost as nasty a piece of work as any of the narcosatanicos in "Borderland" but without the good looks of Santillian.
Carlos Gallardo and Gizeht Galatea
Even the plot is quite similar to "Night Watch" and "Day Watch" with a "chosen one", lots of magic in a modern day urban setting, and some scenes which look almost identical. A certain chase through a market only needs "The Gloom" for it to be lifted straight from "Day Watch". It's a chicken and the egg conundrum as to which really came first given the date of this movie.
With hardly anything explained as you go along, nothing is handed to you on a plate immediately. Everything is explained eventually so just bear with it. I like this way of storytelling, but it was a major criticism of "Night Watch" and "Day Watch" from the hard of understanding crowd who tried to cover their ignorance by using words like "foreign mythology" in their reviews when that wasn't really the problem. Suffice it to say that none of these movies have any traditional mythology except that which has been invented for the story itself. Huge exposition scenes may be lacking, but since nobody does exposition properly anymore, that's another good thing.
There's lots of gore, a very Mexican colour palette which you will either love or hate, and a very beautiful heroine in the form of Gizeht Galatea as federal agent Magdalena. The partnership between Magdalena and Carlos is so like that of Olivia (Anna Torv) and Peter (Joshua Jackson) from "Fringe" that I wouldn't put it past J.J. Abrams and his team not to have taken some inspiration from this movie. Oh, yes, there are subtitles too so thickies need not apply.
My only problem with "Curandero" is that the pacing is a little bit quick over the ground. It's no worse than "Constantine", but I could quite happily have watched another hour of the same characters doing their thing. The effects are great, but the characters would certainly have benefited from some more fleshing out (no pun intended).
I highly recommend "Curandero" if you are looking for something slightly formulaic but a bit different. It's not really worth the new release price, but you can watch it online for $3.99 and probably find it in a Redbox kiosk.
As you know, I sometimes like to use this blog to talk about other things besides horror movies. This is one of those times.
What you may not know is that I absolutely loathe Hewlett Packard and all of its products. I'm not too keen on their employees either after one of the morons insulted me for no good reason when I was simply trying to earn a few bob by working for a security firm at one of their warehouses back in the early '90s. Actually, it's probably entirely because of that idiot that I've hated Hewlett Packard ever since. I had enough to put up in my life with without that douchebag getting gobby in an attempt to compensate for his own inadequacies. It may have been a long time ago, but I don't forgive or forget anybody ever.
Now I have another good reason to despise Hewlett Packard, i.e. the way they try to rip off their customers with the price of ink cartridges. To be specific, the HP56 has three times the ink of the HP21, is exactly the same size and shape externally, but costs less than a HP21 and won't work in any printer designed for a HP21 cartridge.
Having been unfortunate enough to acquire one of their "budget" printer/scanner/copier machines, I tend to run out of ink in the thing pretty often. So I thought I'd buy a HP56 cartridge a couple of years ago on the advice of a Wal-mart associate who actually had no idea what he was talking about. Of course it didn't work although I even took the stupid thing back once for an exchange thinking that it might be a badly manufactured cartridge. The replacement didn't work either, and I was too ashamed to go back to Wal-mart again even though I could barely afford to waste the money. I'm a good customer and never return things because of my own stupid mistakes.
Suffice it to say that the HP56 cartridge remained in my closet wrapped up in cling film (saran wrap) for the last two years, and I continued to buy the occasional HP21s instead. Finding myself without ink for the last 6 months, in desperation, I finally decided to attempt an experiment.
Basically, I cracked open my old HP21 cartridge and the unused HP56 to see what was inside. There's nothing special except a sponge, but the HP56 fills the whole cartridge case while the HP21 has a plastic barrier moulded inside and only holds a sponge which is a third of the size. You can guess what I was thinking, right? Just swap the sponge.
Ripoff version of the HP56 with a smaller sponge inside.
Here's how to save at least $40.
1. Pop the tops of the new cartridge and the old one with a screwdriver. Work the tip of the screwdriver carefully around the edges until you hear snaps. The top of the HP21 is far easier to remove than the top of the HP56. You'll probably have to break the latter. I eventually grabbed a hammer and used the screwdriver as a chisel. It doesn't matter because you'll never use the HP56 casing again anyway.
2. Hold the HP56 sponge with some cling film (or put on some disposable gloves) so you don't get ink on you, then cut it into 3 with a very sharp knife. A paring knife from the kitchen is ideal although it's best to put some cardboard under the sponge as you cut it rather than a chopping board which will stain. The ink washes off your fingers easily enough with warm soapy water, but it will stain clothing and anything else.
3. Having cut the sponge, remove the dried-up one from the HP21 and put a 1/3 of the HP56 sponge into it.
4. Snap the top back on the HP21 cartridge and put it back in your printer. It shouldn't need any glue to hold the top on, but you can do that or use sticky tape if you are a bit paranoid. The cartridge sits upright anyway and there's nothing to spill out of it.
5. Put the other 2/3 of the HP56 sponge back in its casing, wrap it up with cling film and store it somewhere for later use.
