Monday, September 15, 2014

Rebekah Herzberg Reveals All

Check Out Film Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Horror Socials on BlogTalkRadio

No, haters, stalkers, and the ever hopeful AJ, sorry to disappoint you, but this is not my return to horror or movie blogging. That's never going to happen. I'm done with that infantilised online community and their worthless psuedo-political causes/agendas/dramas.

I don't even have a horror DVD or VHS collection anymore; I sold most of them in yard sales and threw the others in the trash. That's how little I now care about the genre or movies in general.

Most movies are just time-wasting entertainment which certain members of the "nerd culture" take far too seriously, and lamentably, for a while, so did I. It's better to just watch movies once and throw them away. Don't kid yourself that you are going to watch them again one day, because you won't. They are all absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of things. That's if there even is any meaning to be found in anything, which I doubt.

R.I.P. Donald Sinden, Richard Kiel, Joan Rivers, Robin Williams, Lauren Bacall, Richard Attenborough, Harold Ramis, and God knows how many other entertainers we've lost recently. My sympathies go out to anyone else ("celebrity" or otherwise) who has lost loved ones in the last year for whatever reason.

I could write more about Death being "the great leveller" and how it puts things into perspective, but why cast pearls before swine? Most normal people already know it, and the blissfully ignorant will do eventually. Depressing stuff.

Anyway, after a long podcasting hiatus, my online friend Rebekah has some interesting things to say about similar subject matter on her podcast. I was invited to be on it, but I was asleep at the time and missed it. Enjoy!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Hallowe'en 2013!

It's here! It's Hallowe'en 2013!

The big non-event has finally arrived on a Thursday when nobody can do anything for it.

I'm completely burnt out by horror this month anyway, so I'm going to have a long hiatus. There are no new theatrical releases on my radar until at least March 2014, and I'm bored with these lacklustre straight-to-DVD horror movies and "hobby horror" crapfests.

I was going to write about Empire Pictures and Full Moon, but I can't be bothered to do it anymore. In fact, I can't be bothered to write reviews of anything. After over 2000 reviews, and more online "fights" over them than I can remember, I think I've finally grown out of it.

We only had one theatrical horror release in October, and it was that soulless "Carrie" remake. I think that's what finally killed the genre for old school horror fans such as myself. Let the new kids on the block gush over their slew of shitty movies which I'm never going to watch. I'm not going to waste any more of my time.

No more remakes, sequels, and clones for me.

As far as I'm concerned, horror is dead.

No more Twitter, no more Facebook, or any of the other social networking sites which don't send any traffic back to Blogger anyway. The internet "horror community" (what a joke!) is too full of cliques of cyberbullies and trolls all fighting among themselves, and I'm leaving them to it. The internet is not the fun place it used to be where you could make a few pretend friends and hang out when you were bored.

To everyone I offended in any way over the years, I'm sorry.
I'm not going to be that guy anymore.

I'm done with it.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Solo (2013)

"A teenage girl is terrorized when she spends two nights alone on a remote island as part of her camp counselor [sic] initiation."

My second movie today is this extremely generic Canadian "Friday the 13th"-esque clone.

Don't watch the trailer because it gives away all the good bits!

"Solo" is typically Canadian with better acting than it deserves, more clich├ęs and borrowings mixed together with a big paddle of predictability, and no chance at ever getting a higher rating than "just average". The main character's backstory provides some originality, but as it's lost in favour of a traditional "kidnap, escape, and chase through the woods" third act, it's hardly worth mentioning.

Nothing much happens horror-wise until the end, and the gory money shot is far too short, but everything looks okay. Decent production values, competent camerawork (albeit sometimes shaky), and solid acting tend to cover a multitude of sins in the pacing, lack of atmosphere, and script.

Annie Clark is satisfactory as the lead, and the bad guy gives a damned good try at being nutty as a fruitcake, but neither performance is outstanding or very memorable. As usual, I have no idea if anyone involved in this production is famous in other respects such as TV, and I can't be bothered to look them up.

One thing I picked up on is that all the male characters smoke and don't seem to be able to get through a scene without lighting up. It's not important to the story in any way, just a theme which runs throughout. Maybe there's an in-joke there which someone can explain to me later. As a smoker myself, it amused me that I was puffing away along with them.

Unfortunately, "Solo" isn't very scary. I had hopes that more would be made of the ghost story about the island being haunted, but alas, it was not to be. It's a mystery thriller with some horror elements, and only a minor upgrade from Syfy Originals and other "filler" genre movies.

I have a feeling that "Solo" is pretty much a directorial debut. Sometimes I tend to be more lenient with new talent, and there's enough talent involved in this movie to make it watchable. If you want something more exciting, however, I recommend one of the earlier "Friday the 13th" movies or "Sleepaway Camp" instead.