Monday, May 25, 2015

Please Save Josh Hadley!

As most people know, I'm not a big supporter of crowdfunding (at all), but this crushing financial situation of Josh Hadley's has been going on for nearly two years, and I keep hearing about it.

It's really getting out of hand. He may not be everyone's "cup of tea", but this man provides a lot of online entertainment for free (and he loves his family, his pets, and movies), so if you can, please help him out.

Here's the link:

Here's the copy from Josh's GoFundMe campaign.

A few years ago I lost my job working in TV and radio for which I was essentially blackballed from my industry (I legally can't go into it deeper than that) and just before all of this my wife fell and hit her head resulting in a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). With her TBI she is unable to work and the process of getting disability is ludicrous to a degree you can't even understand... in the meantime I have been working and working in an attempt to make something out of my own "brand", 1201 Beyond, with podcasts, radio shows, video shows as well as writing for various magazines such as Hustler, Grindhouse Purgatory, Cashers du Cinemart, Paracinema and Shadowland on top of a weekly column "Sanity Is Razor Thin" and a monthly column "The Shadows Of Pop Culture" for Scene Magazine. These things don't bring in enough and I quickly found myself drowning in debt and falling farther and farther behind on EVERYTHING. My house is about to be taken from me, I have been selling off everything I can and this is where I need your help. It takes A LOT for me to come to this point of asking for help from strangers but desperate times call for desperate measures and this is my Hail Mary play. I have job prospects and many applications out right now but that will not elevate the back debt I have accumulated and I just need to keep my family in our house.The kindness of strangers has never ceased to amaze me and if I can just get 70 people to donate at least $100 I can save my house and my family.

Thank you for reading this and for helping out.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Poltergeist (2015)

"A family whose suburban home is haunted by evil forces must come together to rescue their youngest daughter after the apparitions take her captive."

Oh God, here we go with the unnecessary remakes again! 'Tis the season! Not that I'm opposed to every remake. Some of them have been better than the originals, particularly in nearly every case of the Asian horror movies which I once collected.

Yeah, some of those remakes are on the Ghost House Pictures label, the same company who are the producers of this movie, so you'd think that they would know what they were doing by now. You'd be wrong, of course. So very wrong.

Look, I'm sure that you know exactly what I'm going to say about "Poltergeist" before I even write it, so let's cut straight through the chase here.

The remake of "Poltergeist" is
complete and utter shite!

Print that on the eventual Blu-ray slipcase!

I don't feel the need to back this up with any reasons. It's already bad enough that I wasted my time and money by watching this soulless piece of crap, and I don't want to torture myself more by writing about it. And no, it has nothing to do with nostalgia.

I've always disliked the original 1982 version because it only has one scene in it which even resembles real poltergeist activity, i.e. the stacking chairs one, and thus even the title of the movie was a bait and switch con job. Fundamentally, the rest of "Poltergeist" is a padded and updated ripoff of the "Little Girl Lost" episode from "The Twilight Zone" TV series anyway.

I can't stand the dope-smoking parents, or the irritating kids, and jump scares don't work on me. On top of that, the smug ghosthunting team and that awful Tangina thing grip my shit. The only two things which I care to remember fondly from the whole ordeal are JoBeth Williams' beautiful shiny legs. That's it.

In my opinion, the original "Poltergeist" is a stupid but fairly harmless, family-friendly Spielberg fantasy in everything but the director's name. I have no idea if Tobe Hooper really directed it or not. I don't care. I simply don't like "Poltergeist". I'm not an American, I don't connect with the suburban situation or the characters, and I have absolutely no nostalgic feelings about it whatsoever. Just waves and waves of bitter disappointment that it isn't actually about poltergeists.

And you know what? I don't like the sequels either.

"Poltergeist II: The Other Side" (1986) seems like an inferior ripoff of John G. Jones' genuinely terrifying "The Amityville Horror Part II" (1982) novel to me, and "Poltergeist III" (1988) is nothing but a badly made final cash grab which isn't worth piss. Back in the day, I only got through that mess of a movie because I didn't want to completely waste the VHS rental fee. It then turned into a waste both of money and part of my life. Fuck that movie too!

As for this "Poltergeist" remake. I've said all that I want to. If you need further validation, I recommend that you read round the other independent reviewers rather than the "big name" sites carrying those enormous "Poltergeist" advertisements. We all feel much the same way. There's probably nothing different on any of the free blogs which I wouldn't have said about "Poltergeist" myself if I even gave two shits about it, but the most condemnation that the shill sites will dare to write is "Well, it's not bad for a remake..." Fuck that noise!

Just watch the IMDb score drop over the weekend as more people find out the truth for themselves. It's only on 5.8 now! The comments on the official Facebook page are hilariously illuminating too. "Poltergeist is bad, it's really bad. It's "A Nightmare on Elm Street" remake bad! It's too modern, truncated, the ending is rushed, the acting/characterisation is horrible, there's no chemistry, no emotion, it isn't scary... Oh, you nearly got me there. No, I'm not doing this anymore. No more negativity!!! I'm outta here!

If you're really that desperate for a "Poltergeist" remake, try "Grave Secrets: The Legacy of Hilltop Drive" (1992) or "Insidious" (2010) instead. I haven't reviewed them either.