September 10, 2011

For those people who still don't get it

In case you are new to this blog and aren't quite picking up on the vibe here...

My Mission Statement

To sort the wheat from the chaff regarding horror movies.

Things I hate

1. Horror-comedies.
2. Low-budget/no-budget/micro-budget "filmed in the back garden with a bunch of beered-up friends" handycam movies.
3. Badly made films of any kind.

Things I like

1. Good stories.
2. Great acting and characterisation.
3. Excellent special effects and camerawork.

Things I love

1. Cats.
2. Chocolate muffins.
3. Herr's honey BBQ cheese puffs.
4. Monster energy drinks (the green ones).
5. Serious, shit-your-pants-scary horror movies.

Deal breakers

1. No boobs or blood make Jack a dull boy.
2. Dreams within dreams will make me kick the TV in.
3. Cop-out endings such as "They're all dead all the way through".

Stuff which will get you and your IP address banned from the comments

1. Arguing about something you don't know about.
2. Dishonesty.
3. Trolling.
4. Spamming.
5. Posting links to your blog unless it's to show me your review of the same film so that we can compare notes.

Stuff which will get you liked and followed

1. Being honest about your assessment of a film based on Aristotelian criteria.
2. Not being a grinny-gog/sycophant.
3. Having a brain.

Dr Blood's Video Vault does not endorse or acknowledge the "so bad it's good" concept, will not accept screeners unless from a major motion picture studio or distributor, and, basically, has no affiliation with any other horror movie review sites on the internet other than those formed by social networking friendships.

That means that I will not agree with anyone else based on their reviews or even their friendships if they are wrong.

If you already know all this, here's a picture of my Webkins racoon holding my massive digital watch from Walmart, both of which are awesome.

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