July 3, 2004

Subhuman (2004)

(AKA Shelf Life)

"Martin Remaro while in hot pursuit of evil is hit by a car. Ben and Julie the occupants of the car are convinced to flee the scene of the accident and take him home. Instead they take him to there place. Through a turn of events they come to discover that Martin is a very troubled man. Wanting him out of their home they agree to collect the drugs needed to help heal his wounds. Through the people they come into contact with while purchasing the drugs they come to understand that he is a very sick man that needs help and that they are in danger."

I actually enjoyed this for about half an hour but then started to get bored as it was all a lot of talk and no action.

The script is good and you could probably happily listen to Martin the vampire hunter spout his secondhand philosphical musings all day if you were so inclined but what people really want from a horror film just doesn't happen here. This is no "Blade" by any stretch of the imagination. Action is brief and sparse and, although there are a couple of CGI gory bits, it doesn't make up for the tedium of the rest.

The acting varies from one character to another, Martin (played by William MacDonald - who is also in the "Blade" TV series as Revered Carlyle) is quite believable but everyone else seems to be unconvincing and wooden in comparison. I found the vampire women at the start to be particularly annoying, especially when they kept on giggling, and was quite pleased when Martin decapitated the first one.

The decapitations are badly done though and rely on CGI for the most part (and it's cheap CGI at that). Blood spurting out of necks really shouldn't remind me of that famous java applet which puts a lake under a picture quite as much as it did.

If "Subhuman" had had a bigger budget and some actors of the same calibre as its lead then it might have been quite a cult alternative to things like "Buffy" and "Blade". As it stands though, it is slightly below average and is only worth a rating of 3 out of 10.

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