Well, I've just finished watching this unadulterated piece of shite and feel that's another hour and a quarter of my life which I will never get back. If it hadn't been for the first 30 minutes boring me too rigid to even move, I would certainly not have watched the rest of this atrocity at all.
Not only was it YET ANOTHER HOME INVASION film but it was a poorly done one at that.
If the CGI foetus that kept appearing wasn't enough to put anybody off, the sheer incompetence of the dumbest French flics to ever appear on screen should do... although you have to give them credit for managing to turn up at Vanessa Paradis' sister's house without her even giving them her address on the phone.
Pretty much all credibility and empathy was lost soon after the horrendous "Ghost" moment. Yeah, it just needed Patrick Swayze and a potter's wheel to complete the awfulness of it all.
But it is gory... very, very gory. I wouldn't say that it's the bloodiest film I've ever seen but "gorehounds" will undoubtedly get a kick out of it even if it is all over the top and ludicrous.
It's not scary unless you are pregnant and hormonal, doesn't have much tension or suspense, and is really quite inferior to "Ils" which got released in the US last year.
I'm giving it 1 out of 10 just because it was nice to see Betty Blue's Beatrice Dalle in something again. It's just a pity that it didn't live up to the hype that other online reviewers have fallen for. Without Beatrice Dalle it wouldn't have got any points at all.

When I went in search of "Inside" to rent, I actually ended up with the wrong thing first of all. Obviously this one wasn't in French nor did it feature pregnant bellies anywhere. For some reason the video stores round here have replaced the copies of "À l'interieur" with this one. Wal-mart have also withdrawn the latter due to complaints (probably from other people saying it was crap rather than any other form of disgust at the contents).
But, anyway, I enjoyed this version of "Inside". It was sort of a teenage version of Misery and Cheryl White played a real psycho-bitch-mother from hell. I really can't tell you any more without spoiling it for you because it's a very simple plot which deals with bereavement, guilt and insanity but in a slightly different way to usual.
All the acting was really good, it was shot well and the story kept me interested right up until the end. There was even some blood in it.
It's probably only another 5 out of 10 but it's very much in the same vein as all the only slow paced quirky indies out there. If you liked "The Invisible" or "Teeth", I think you'd all enjoy this one too.

Just a poor man's version of "Ils" mixed with "The Devil's Rejects" plus proof, if any was needed, that Liv Tyler's face only has one expression no matter what situation she is in.
It's one cliché after another, lots of predictable jump scares (of which only the first one actually has any value), and it was just awful. I didn't care about the two main characters or what happened to them whatsoever.
Apart from several continuity errors (the biggest being the holes in the front door), everything was telegraphed so far in advance that the jump scares just fell flat and, because they were mostly based on loud sounds, it soon got annoying rather than frightening. That again was the biggest problem, it just wasn't scary.
I didn't find it very realistic either. The only credit I can give it is that the couple started out by not being the typical weaklings that usually get menaced in this kind of "home invasion" setup. But then they just got stupider and stupider and all the typical cliches started sinking in... running away and tripping, splitting up, investigating scary noises. The whole thing just showed complete contempt for the audience.
If you'd NEVER seen any other horror movie in your life then this wouldn't be so bad. But most people will have seen all the formulaic parts of this dozens of times before.
I'm not sure if this was a PG-13 but it certainly wasn't all that gory. There was blood but only as an aftermath. There wasn't a lot of on screen visceral action.
Also, there was no real sex or nudity. There was a moment when I thought Liv was going to get a knee trembler but it came to nothing. We were even cheated when she took a bath.
It just sucked. As one member of a group of teenagers said to the others as I was leaving the movie theatre, "That was the worst horror movie I've ever seen. I wish I'd watched Indiana Jones instead".
Don't waste your money watching this. Wait for the DVD then you can fast forward through it. I have never been so bored by a theatrical horror movie release in my life. 0 out of 10.

Although I do actually recommend that you all go and see "The Incredible Hulk", there are just a few annoyances about the film that I have to share.
Firstly, the CGI. Now I know that it would be pretty difficult to create the Hulk any other way but this was really very bad indeed. In the shorter bursts the animation doesn't distract too much. It still doesn't look real but it is almost acceptable. However, in the longer action scenes, it all just looks like a computer game which spoils it.
Secondly, Tim Roth's character is absolutely ludicrous. Not only is he much too short to be a soldier (especially in comparison to the giant-like William Hurt) but he tends to lurch from side to side when he walks which also doesn't gel with any military training that I can think of. He was totally miscast and his performance was just embarrassing.
On the other hand, even though he really looks his age (40) at times, Edward Norton does a great job as Bruce Banner. He'll never be as good as the late Bill Bixby but having a top notch actor in something like this really makes a difference. It may cause a bit of a stretch of the old "willing suspension of disbelief" that he could actually get Liv Tyler as a girlfriend but she's no spring chicken now either so I think their onscreen chemistry works for the most part.
One thing that bugged me a lot though was the way that the initial "accident" that caused Dr Bruce Banner to become the Hulk was just rushed through during the opening credits. The same thing happened with the Iron Man movie in that the bits you want to see are left out with the assumption that everybody already knows the story. I think it was probably done to give the audience time to warm to Edward Norton and to save our first negative impressions of the Hulk CGI monstrosity until later. It almost worked so I suppose I should grudgingly give credit where it is due for not showing "the monster" too early.
The best thing about "The Incredible Hulk" is that it is 100 times better than Ang Lee's 2003 version. You can pretty much forget that it even exists now. There are frequent nods in this to the classic TV series which is really how it should have been done in the first place. Bill Bixby gets shown briefly on a TV screen and, apart from voicing the Hulk, Lou Ferrigno also plays a pizza-loving security guard for a minute or two. Even the haunting theme music that we of a certain generation all know and love is included.
Stan Lee has a cameo just to make sure that we all know that this is an official Marvel update and the ending with Robert Downey, Jr., as Stark promises yet another entry into the canon later on.
It will be interesting to see how the new Captain America film turns out before they launch into a full-blown "Avengers" series though.

"The Happening" is a simple film with a simple plot: mankind has ruined the planet so much that plants now see us as the enemy and are giving us a warning that if we don't stop then they can (and will) wipe us all out.
The plants are releasing a neuro-toxin into the air which causes people to kill themselves rather than each other (which is a bit different to most plague-based horror films). In some ways it was similar to the vignettes in James Herbert's "The Fog".
I enjoyed it for what it was. It wasn't horror just science-fiction with an over the top "green" message. But it was no worse than an extended "Twilight Zone" episode and reminded me a lot of the "Quatermass" TV series from the late 70s. Just replace John Mills with the much tamer Mark Wahlberg and you pretty much have the same thing,
Zooey Deschanel (Emily "Bones" Deschanel's sister) was really beautiful in it and it was nice to see John Leguizamo and his deformed grinny-gog mouth committing suicide too. David Eigenberg would have been less distracting and a lot more believable in the role especially as his voice sounds identical.
I wouldn't buy "The Happening" on DVD when it comes out because I'm not much of an M. Night Shyamalan fan anyway but it was certainly a lot better than "Lady in the Water".
People are bitching about this film all over the internet. I think it's just become trendy to bash M. Night Shyamalan's films now. The only negative thing I'll say about it is that if it was meant to be a horror film then it really needed some more gory deaths. As a teenage-friendly sci-fi flick with a blatant environmental message I think it succeeded even if it was a bit slow overall.

"Dawn is a special little girl with special needs. Born from a human father and a vampire mother who died while giving birth. Dawn requires blood to survive. She and her father travel across the country, assuming new identities and never staying in one place for very long - until a small town detective with psychic powers pays extra attention to the murder of one of his townsfolk."

Although I often find that low-budget independant vampire films are usually diabolically amateur, Jay Reel has done quite a good job with "Dawn".
The often used phrase, "it was very entertaining" springs to mind but the story itself was quite involving and the acting, such as it was, wasn't too distracting. Kacie Young, the eponymous heroine, steals the show but Jay Reel himself is quite amusing to watch also. It seems his portrayal made the Deadpit boys think that he was actually disabled in real life. I wasn't entirely convinced by Ray Boucher as "John" but for a "non actor" he wasn't too bad. If it turns out that Ray really is an actor, oh dear.
It was shot well in black and white but it still shows the limitations of the budget. It still has the look of a handycam movie about it which is a bit of a shame.
The bottom line is that if you are looking for something a little bit different in the vampire genre then Jay Reel's "Dawn" is OK and certainly worth a rental. 5 out of 10.