February 14, 2013

My Top Ten Valentine's Day Horror Films

Although I'm far more interested in "Half-price Chocolate Day" on February 15th, some of you will be wondering what to watch later with your objects of affection other than the classics.

If you're a wussypants and "Grotesque", "A Serbian Film", "Irreversible", "I Spit on Your Grave" or "The Human Centipede 2" aren't your idea of a good time, I've compiled a quick top ten list of the best "normal" horror films to get you in the mood on Valentine's Day.

I, on the other hand, will be watching all of the "Saw" movies back-to-back because I find them ever so romantic.


1. The Loved Ones (2009)

"When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge."




2. Jennifer's Body (2009)

"A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?"




3. Boy Eats Girl (2005)

"A boy declares his love for his girlfriend, only to die the same night. He is brought back to life by his mother as a flesh-craving zombie, who sires more teen undead while trying to control his, er, appetite for his beloved."




4. Love Object (2003)

"The twisted tale of Kenneth, socially insecure technical writer who forms an obsessive relationship with Nikki, an anatomically accurate silicone sex doll he orders over the Internet."




5. Tamara (2005)

"Tamara, an unattractive girl, who is picked on by her peers returns after her death as a sexy seductress to exact revenge."




6. Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

"The vampire comes to England to seduce a visitor's fiancée and inflict havoc in the foreign land."




7. Daughters of Darkness (1971)

"A newlywed couple are passing through a vacation resort. Their paths cross with a mysterious, strikingly beautiful countess and her aide."




8. Meridian [aka Phantoms] (1990)

"Two American students go to Italy after graduating from art school, one to work in restoration of paintings, the other because she's inherited her father's castle. When the restorer visits her friend at the castle, they invite the players of a traveling sideshow to dinner, and are slipped drugs, leading to an orgy of abandon."




9. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

"Mary Shelley reveals the main characters of her novel survived: Dr. Frankenstein (goaded by an even madder scientist) builds his monster a mate."




10. The Invisible (2007)

"After an attack leaves him in limbo - invisible to the living and also near death - a teenager discovers the only person who might be able to help him, is his attacker."


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