May 11, 2012

Tattoos have nothing to do with horror knowledge

I know that this is outside the scope of my normal blogging, but having just been "called out" on my attitude to tattoos on someone else's blog comments. let me just state again the reasons why I am against them and their validity in the alleged horror community.

It seems that there is a certain clique of tattooed convention goers who think that a horror fan is only worthy if they "look the part". That means that if you aren't one of their low-class, hoi polloi (yes, I'm using that term ironically) then you don't have any right to be in their air space.

These people assert that to be a horror fan you have to wear a disease-spreading disfigurement which was traced on by one of their dirty biker/ex-jailbird "tattoo artist" friends to show the knowledge which should be inside your brain on the outside of your body instead. These same people are presumably the ones who have the names of their children and other loved ones tattoed on them because it's likely that they will forget who they are otherwise. Yes, these mouth-breathers really are so stupid that I'm surprised that they don't just have an "If lost please return to..." address label inked onto their foreheads.

I don't have any tattoos, and I've been a horror fan twice as long as most of these horror convention idiots have been alive. I don't know everything about every horror movie ever made, but I'm pretty sure that I know a hell-of-a-lot more than they do. They might say that I wasn't a horror fan because I don't look or dress like them, but from my side, it's pretty damned obvious that I'm not a horror poseur who would even need to.

The whole tattoo "scene" is fairly recent and just another way for stupid people to get ripped off by others who have nothing more to offer the world than trace a picture onto somebody else, disfigure them, infect them, and take their money for the privilege. Before the early 2000s, it was generally only the military, bikers, construction workers, prisoners, and other plebs who either through drinking, boredom, or a tribal mentality wanted to be branded into a certain group.

When I see a so-called "horror fan" covered from head to toe in tats, all I think is "idiot", "sheep", and "moron". It's so "peer", un-individual, and kind of pathetic really. I also really do think, in this age of HIV, Hepatitis C, and MRSA, they are full of disease (both physically and mentally) and steer well clear of them.

Don't believe me about the mental illness part? Think about it. Anybody who pays another person to inflict pain on them, leaving them with an ugly scar which will last for life, and who (especially in the case of women who tend to get addicted to tattoos and piercings for some reason) would return for more of the same clearly has some kind of insanity. Isn't one of the reasons why we all watch horror movies in a safe environment simply because we would rather see painful things happen to other people rather than to ourselves?

Of course, it's all peer pressure and the desire to fit in with "the crowd", even if that crowd is looked down on by the rest of society. Horror fans exist on the edge of society most of the time anyway because the stuff we watch isn't what society believes that any decent human being should be exposed to in the first place. In fairness, if horror movies were real life and not escapism or fantasy then I would be forced to agree with the "nanny state" ideology.

The truth is you don't have to dress a certain way or have a certain look to be a horror fan, but there are some people who make me ashamed to like the genre. They are the unemployable, inked-up, bone-through-nosed, earlobes-round-their-knees mental cases who, for some inexplicable reason, want to look like Pinhead from "Hellraiser". They may be a whole lot of fun during the two days of a horror convention, but it won't do anybody much good in the real world.

Have fun trying to find a job if you look like Sideshow Bob or Popeye the Sailor. It's hard enough for normal looking people or even the cookie-cutter beauties who usually get everything handed to them on a silver platter and never had to try before. I wish anyone with a sleeve of Regan from "The Exorcist" deflowering herself with a crucifix the best of luck trying to find employment in catering, retail, or any other service industry where they have to deal with the general public. It's not going to happen. The stakes are too high nowadays, and nobody wants to see something like that in their face every day.

I don't get it and I never will. Most sane people try to make the best of themselves no matter how hard or in vain it may be and don't want to look as if they belong in a freakshow. Personally, I would do anything and pay any price to increase my own symmetry and be beautiful rather than look like the scruffy deadbeat which I usually do.

There are, obviously, some people who think that girls or guys all inked up, pierced in every orifice, and made as ugly as a "Suicide Girl" are "hot", but that's their problem not mine. That look is not to my taste and, as a rampant heterosexual, any moderately pretty girl who does that nastiness to herself (for whatever attention seeking reasons float her boat) instantly drops from whatever "out of 10" score I would give her to a zero. It puts me off and, to be blunt, if it came to sex with them, I wouldn't be able to perform with a tattoo of the deformed version of Jason Voorhees staring at me.

Yes, it's all to do with taste. I have it, and those high-street skanks with their beaus who surround them due to "Tiffany Syndrome" (an "Eastenders" reference for a girl who has enough flaws that even an ugly bloke might stand a chance with her if she gets drunk enough) don't. I don't like condiments on anything either, but some people who want to ruin the flavour of their food do. It's that black and white really.

As for the horror knowledge, that's all about time spent reading books and watching films. You have to invest the time and maybe even study a bit if you aren't actually in the horror industry itself or are new to the genre. You won't get it from having somebody trace a picture of Robert Englund on your tits for $60, by wearing a "Motel Hell" or hipstery "Manos Hands of Fate" t-shirt, or by hanging out at those timewasting, rip-off horror fleamarkets called conventions.

Make no mistake about it, these "Horror and Tattoo" conventions are just out to get your money. They don't care what they do to you, how you will look, or how you will feel about it immediately afterwards or in five years time. All they want is your hard-earned cash which you could have spent more wisely on DVDs, posters, or $25 autographs from "celebrities" which no Hollywood studio will ever employ again.

That is all.

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