April 30, 2012

Jaws - the pointless Blu-ray Edition

You've probably already had your fill of the news about "Jaws" being released on blu-ray from all the other horror movie websites so I'm not going to re-cover the same ground with all the boring technological stuff which I know for a fact that hardly any of them understands either.

I've already reviewed "Jaws" on here so you know that I love the film and I've seen it hundreds of times over the years. What's not to get excited about with a blu-ray release of one of my favourite films?

Well, like I said, I've seen it so many times and in so many formats that the new "Anniversary Edition" of "Jaws" is hardly something I'd rush out to buy. I've actually lost count of how many times it was released on VHS and DVD as a 10 year, 15 year, 20 year, 25 year or 30 year "Anniversary Edition" (either fullscreen or widescreen) and I've probably made a few of those up. Whatever the case, it was a lot of times.

So what are they adding to sell "Jaws" to everyone yet again? A documentary. I'm sure it will be very interesting but does that justify buying a new version of the same film? In five years time, Universal will only bring out another version.

If you've seen "Jaws" once (or twice), what else is left for you? How many times can you watch the same film? Hasn't everyone on the planet already seen "Jaws" and at least two of the three crappy sequels on TV? Some of us have even read the books!

Since I don't even own a blu-ray player, all this is a moot point anyway. I'm not going to buy one for the sake of watching a nearly 40 year old film.

However, I would buy a blu-ray player if the studios actually started releasing some of their other 20, 30 and 40 year old films which hardly anyone has seen.

For instance, where are the blu-ray editions of "Last Exit to Brooklyn", "Scum", or "Twisted Nerve"? What's wrong with releasing some decent films instead of just the ones which the executives think will sell to the largest audience?

What about the thousands of horror movies such as the ones on VHS collected by KandJHorrordotcom (on his YouTube channel) which still haven't seen a DVD release and will never be on blu-ray? These are the movies that people really want not just re-releases of the most popular titles. The movie industry is dying. Everybody knows it and horror has already been the first casualty.

All this makes me think of "Demolition Man" where all the restaurants in the future are "Taco Bell". It's not hard to imagine that in another 25 years, if the movie industry still even exists, the only movies available will be "Indiana Jones", "Star Wars" and "E.T."!!! Or worse, it could be a renaissance of handycam "faux found-footage" zombie crap being burnt to 3D blu-ray at home by 14 year old amateur filmmakers who got their inspiration from classic Best Buy commercials.

Sometimes, I just don't want to live in this world anymore.

April 28, 2012

Nightwatch and Daywatch as Meez

A few years ago (when I was really bored), I made several "Nightwatch" and "Daywatch" animations at Meez.com. Since I've got nothing much to write about at the moment, here are a couple of them. Click the pics to see more.

Anton Gorodetsky

Alisa Donnikova

The "Dozor" films are still my favourite Russian fantasies of all time and, for a while, I was obsessively collecting everything to do with them.

I even made a Proboards forum for "Dozor Fans" but it never really took off.

When Timur Bekmambetov decided to make "Wanted" instead of the third part of the trilogy, it was "game over" for most fans of the first two films.

In other news, I thought my main computer had died but it turned out to only be a dying CMOS battery. I cleaned all the cat fur and dust out of the fan, replaced the thermal paste between the heatsink and the processor, and went through every connection before I found that little nugget of information out.

In short, I wasted two days taking everything apart and putting it back together again only to discover that, in spite of what all these self-proclaimed computer experts on the internet may tell you, a CMOS battery actually does a little bit more than just keep the BIOS settings. I only found it out by shorting the battery terminals with a screwdriver to get the stupid computer started. On an Acer Aspire AM1100, if you have a dead CR2032 battery then the computer will not start.

As you may have noticed, I also changed my blog template again and moved a few things around when I got back online. I got rid of the "Most Popular Posts" and "Blogroll" widgets (though I may put the latter back at some point), then moved a lot of the "Lists" onto their own separate pages (which you can now find on the tabs at the top).

Some nasty bugger on a forum said my site looked like it was made in 1998. Well, in truth, most of the graphics were made in 1997 actually so I thought it was time for an update. I can't do much about the limitations of the Blogger template itself (although I've tried) but I think the design is a lot cleaner now. Let me know what you think.

April 26, 2012

Embryo (1976)

"A scientist doing experiments on a human foetus discovers a method to accelerate the foetus into a mature adult in just a few days."

You know how people are always talking about good films to watch on rainy afternoons? Well, with today being like a precursor to a second flood, "Embryo" turned out to be one of those films.

As a rule, I tend to skip over anything which sounds as if it might be sci-fi, but I was that bored while looking through my Mill Creek horror packs to find something to watch that I gave it a go. I "lucked out" (as Americans say).

Not only was this a "Bride of Frankenstein" knock-off but it had a lot of elements which were borrowed by "Splice" more recently. As I said, I don't watch a lot of sci-fi so I never realised the connection before.

Instead of gene-splicing, "Embryo" was all about artificially preserving the life of a naturally created foetus outside the womb but ended up with much the same disastrous results as all other Frankenstein subgenre movies.

What made it good though was the acting talent. Rock Hudson, Barbara Carrera (who I only know from that bad James Bond remake, "Never Say Never Again"), and even Roddy McDowell were all in this so it was hardly a low-budget cheapie even if it reeked of TV movie (and a lot of other TV movie actors) in places.

At an hour and three quarters long, "Embryo" was a film of thirds. The first third established Rock Hudson as the obsessed scientist, the middle was all about integrating Victoria (the grown up foetus) into society, and the final third turned out to be a run-of-the-mill horror.

I absolutely loved it though. All the science behind it was complete crap, of course, which made me happy since I hate anything to do with science, and Barbara Carrera was great to look at. Yes, you do see her briefly get nudie but blink and you'll miss it.

I really didn't expect Roddy McDowell to turn up in the middle and that was a nice surprise too. It was a more important moment in the film than simply another of his many cameos done for comic relief and another paycheck.

The horror elements were a bit tame even considering the time when this was made. There was some great stuff with a Doberman, a fair amount of blood, a couple of murders, and a denouement which could have inspired "À l'intérieur" if only more had been made of it.

I highly recommend "Embryo" and, since it is in the public domain, I have uploaded it to my YouTube channel so that you can enjoy it too.

April 24, 2012

Win a free copy of "Masters of Terror"

Yes, this is the first "Dr Blood's Video Vault Giveaway" for all my friends and followers.

Below is a picture of the brand new (sealed and untouched by human hand) copy of "Masters of Terror" from Echo Bridge Home Entertainment as purchased by me specifically for this competition.

As you can see, you get one good film and three which are not so hot but it's still FOUR HORROR MOVIES FOR FREE!

All you have to do for a chance to win this awesome prize is to follow this very blog, like my Facebook page, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and then go to Twitter, follow me there and tweet the following:

RT and follow @Dr_Blood for a chance to win a copy of Echo Bridge's "Masters of Terror" on DVD. http://t.co/HMTo7c5R

It's only four clicks and a retweet for the chance to win four free movies on one DVD.

The one lucky winner will be picked randomly by my cat, Willow, on May 30th, 2012 so you have plenty of time to enter.

Please note that this competition is only open to residents of the United States of America (lower 48 states only). You must be over 18 years old to enter.

Good luck!

April 23, 2012

April 21, 2012

I bought that for a dollar - part 9

I haven't done one of these for ages so here are two more "Double Feature" DVDs which I got for $1. In this case, these DVDs by "PC Treasures" were reduced from $1 each to 50c each so I got twice as much for my money.

From left to right, first we have "Circus of Fear" (1966) which is more of an English giallo than a horror (which isn't that surprising as it was written by Edgar Wallace) but I had to have it for Christopher Lee even though it's not exactly his greatest performance and you don't really see a lot of him in it.

Next, "The Hitch-hiker" (1953) is a very underrated film noir which, of course, is a precursor in many ways to "The Hitcher" (which we all know and love). If anything, it's a lot more tense than the Rutger Hauer vehicle and is supposedly based on a true story.

More film noir which borders on horror in "D.O.A." (1950) as a salesman gets poisoned and only has 24 hours to find out who did it and why. It's actually really good for the time although the plot has been done to death since.

Finally, "Detour" (1945) is kind of like "Very Bad Things" but without any comedy as a small time criminal falls foul of one of the most evil femme fatales ever and can't get away from her. Ann Savage is absolutely fantastic in it.

All of these public domain movies are quite highly rated on the IMDb and I almost bought a couple of Mill Creek's "mystery" packs to get them once. I'm glad that I saved my money though as these are the only titles on those packs which are any good anyway.

April 20, 2012

Nosferatu (1922)

"Originally released in 1922 as Nosferatu, Eine Symphonie Des Grauens, director F.W. Murnau's chilling and eerie adaption of Stoker's Dracula is a silent masterpiece of terror which to this day is the most striking and frightening portrayal of the legend."

To be honest with you right from the beginning, I don't think much of "Nosferatu" (otherwise known as the the world's first movie copyright infringement). I only uploaded this film to YouTube because I realised that I still hadn't used my account for anything constructive in the six years since I joined the site.

Having recently discovered that I could actually upload movies longer than fifteen minutes, I decided to start filling my YouTube channel with public domain horrors. I know other people have done this, but since I also discovered that it takes over an hour to upload anything, I don't think I'm going to be a very great rival to the big name "PD" channels.

But anyway, "Nosferatu" sucks. Not only does Graf Orlok (or Count Dracula) suck blood as a vampire (albeit rather invisibly) but the whole film is wretchedly boring. I may have over a dozen copies of it scattered throughout my Mill Creek and other budget horror DVDs, but that's not because I like the film in any way.

For a start, it's all in black and white which is a bit shitty really. Then, to add insult to injury, it's silent (apart from the crappy music added to it after the fact) with a load of title cards which you have to read. Yes, read! Who the Hell watches a film to read it? You'll expect me to start reading subtitles on modern foreign movies next!!!

Of course, I'm being sarcastic as I'm quite aware of how much of a philistine any of that would make me look if I truly felt that way, but I really dislike "Nosferatu" to the point of absolute hatred.

What I hate most about the film is that it's all style over substance. It's just a few "scary" images created by the very odd looking Max Schreck with the ripped-off "Dracula" story underneath it all. Bram Stoker's novel is infinitely better than this crap, and the name changes don't help the movie's cause either.

I loathe the acting especially as I have no idea if the actors were actually saying anything resembling what appears as a caption on screen, and I find the whole cast to be very unattractive. I just can't think myself back ninety years ago into a time before I existed to appreciate any of it. Not only is "Nosferatu" old but everything about it is entirely alien to me, distancing, and it just doesn't grab my attention.

Now I know there are some people who will defend "Nosferatu" to the hilt with all the tired arguments about how groundbreaking it was and how I need to learn all about the styles of the German silent movie industry before being so judgemental, but seriously, have you ever tried watching this film recently?

That's another reason why I posted it back up to YouTube. I want people to actually sit there and watch this crap for as long as they can stand it. I can barely make it ten minutes in without wanting to switch it off, and that's not just because I've seen it so many times before.

"Nosferatu" simply isn't a very good film. Yes, we're lucky to have it since all the copies were supposed to be destroyed for copyright infringement, but it's still badly shot and directed. It's almost as bad as the later Bela Lugosi "Dracula" (based on the official Bram Stoker stage play), and that's saying something.

Basically, "Dracula" works well as a book but has never translated well to screen. Just because "Nosferatu" was the first movie adaptation of the story does not make it the best.

April 19, 2012


Some pathetic loser who is going by the name of "Eliza" on here has copied all the posts from my "Horror Cats" blog and even linked to the images from my Photobucket account (which I've now moved).

The copycat (no pun intended) blog is called "Pretty Cats". I know it had to happen sooner or later but this is just bullshit. How lazy do you have to be to copy somebody else's blog? How sad is that?

Even more stupid was the fact that this malicious asshat decided to follow "Dr Blood's Video Vault" as well. Presumably, they were looking for more things to steal. Good luck with that. I also blocked the idiot.

Remember, there is only one real "Horror Cats" blog.

The Horror Cats

Update (20/4/12):
It appears that the thief has thought better of it and has now deleted all their posts. Not much good to them without the pictures, eh? Now they are stealing a load of unrelated animal images from someone else.

April 17, 2012

Upcoming Horror Movie - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

"Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them."

As much as I think that this movie (based on a novel by Seth Grahame-Smith) sounds like a completely stupid idea, I'm kind of looking forward to it.

With Timur Bekmambetov (of "Night Watch", "Day Watch" and "Wanted" fame) directing it, I don't really see where it can go wrong except that it will hardly be a horror film if his previous efforts are anything to go by. Unfortunately, Tim Burton is producing so it could end up as yet another ridiculous fairytale or turn into a stupid comedy such as "Dark Shadows" which I don't even want to think about right now (or ever).

According to the IMDb and Wikipedia articles, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is cashing in on the 3D gimmick which I think a lot of us were hoping was already over. There's more 3D to come though later this year with "Piranha 3DD" so it's probably best to think of this film as yet another Summer movie for people who don't want to think too much. It could be good but the chances are that none of us will remember it either.

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is due to be released in the USA on June 22nd, 2012.

April 15, 2012

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

"Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods."

As much as I really want to give you my review of "The Cabin in the Woods", with so many other horror bloggers all falling over themselves to write about the same clever yet unscary movie, I thought I'd give everyone else a chance at some page hits.

Much as I did last year with "Scream 4" (ironically another "meta-horror"), I'm simply going to list all the reviews from my blogroll as and when they happen. You can call it a "shoutout" if you like as I'm sure there are quite a few horror blogs here which you've never heard of and would be wise to follow.

horrorfatale.com - ‘THE CABIN IN THE WOODS’ – Opens Today
The Non-Review - Cabin in the Woods, Lockout, The Three Stooges: 7 Word Weekend Review
Horror Movie A Day - The Cabin In The Woods (2011)
PLANET OF TERROR!! - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Dinner With Max Jenke - The Horror Film To End All Horror Films?
The Fear Corner - The Cabin in the Woods (2012) Review
Full Moon Reviews - Horror, Sci-Fi, Action, B-Movies - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Zombots! - The Cabin in the Woods
DARKMATTERS - The Mind Of Matt - Darkmatters Review: The Cabin In The Woods
The Man-Cave - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
A Mighty Fine Blog - Film Review: The Cabin In The Woods (2011)
The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema - The Cabin in the Woods (SXSW 2012)
Kilplix's Blog - The Cabin in the Woods review
Uncle Frank's Film Blog - The Cabin in the Woods
Andy's Film Blog - The Cabin in the Woods
The Fear Corner - The Cabin in the Woods (2012) Review
the jaded viewer - The Cabin in the Woods (Review)
Horror Smorgasbord - The Cabin In The Woods (Review/Overview/Discussion)
The Horror Club - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
A Wimp Does Horror - Cabin in the Woods
Horror Lovers Spot - Cabin in the Woods

Also, just like before, I'm going to wait until the DVD comes out and not get caught up in this zero-day maelstrom of spoilers (although I think you can probably tell what I thought of "The Cabin in the Woods" anyway). If you follow me on Twitter then you already know.

Anyway, if you have yet another review of "The Cabin in the Woods" which I haven't mentioned, just leave it as a comment below and I'll edit it into this post accordingly.

April 13, 2012

Friday the 13th (1980)

"Camp counselors are stalked and murdered by an unknown assailant while trying to re-open a summer camp that was the site of a child's drowning."

Since it's Friday the 13th, I thought I might as well be as predictable as all the other bloggers and say something about this highly overrated slasher. I'm not keen on the slasher subgenre in general as they are all much the same as each other but with only the locations and names of the characters changing.

I'm particularly less than impressed by "Friday the 13th" as it borrowed its most famous kill scenes from Mario Bava's "Twitch of the Death Nerve" (1971). If you haven't seen it then look it up on YouTube where you can see all 13 kills in their uncensored glory.

But as I loathe Italian horror movies even more than American slashers, I have to give Sean S. Cunningham some credit for making this style of film more accessible to an English speaking audience. It's just a pity that "Halloween" (1978) did everything so much better, and everything which followed "Friday the 13th" was so much worse.

Obviously, "Friday the 13th" will always be remembered for Kevin Bacon's death scene, the fact that it wasn't Jason doing all the killing (Oh, was that a spoiler? Who cares?) until part two, and for having an even crappier "Carrie"-style ending than "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984) which followed it into the land of iconic villains.

"Friday the 13th" has little of merit other than being the first and best of a franchise which outstayed its welcome. The numerous sequels starring the psycho in the ice hockey mask, not to mention all the imitators, have proved that the formula of teenagers who break the rules being hacked to death in various unpleasant ways has a very wide appeal, but if you've seen one slasher, you've seen them all.

April 11, 2012

2, 4, 6, 8... Who do we appreciate?


Unless you've been living under a rock for the last month, you must have heard about the latest multipack releases from Lionsgate and the whole kerfuffle about finding any of them in the $5 bargain bins at Wal-mart.

It seems that some horror fans have been lucky enough to find the 8 pack (Waxwork / 976-Evil 2 / Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College / The Unholy / C.H.U.D. 2 / Chopping Mall / Slaughter High / Class of 1999) and 6 pack (Blood Diner / Parents / Earth Girls Are Easy / Sundown / Fido / Boy Eats Girl), and a few have also found the less interesting "Living Dead" 6 pack (Bride of Re-Animator / Beyond Re-Animator / Return of the Living Dead 3 / Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis / Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave / Night of the Living Dead 3D). Of course, there have been so many cases of resellers buying every copy they could find to put on eBay and Amazon (at five or six times the original price!) that the multipacks are now rarer than hen's teeth in the wild.

The picture above isn't of my own copies of these elusive DVDs, it's just one that I found by searching through Google Images. I haven't been to Wal-mart for almost a month now and have virtually no interest in the contents of these multipacks at all. Although I find it interesting that Lionsgate have finally started to release a few titles from the enormous catalogue of older movies which they have been sitting on, I wish they had done it better.

You see, none of these movies are particularly good ones anyway. They range from average to absolutely awful and there are far too many comedies in the packs to make me want to purchase them. I already have "Boy Eats Girl" on a previous Lionsgate 4 pack from Wal-mart (along with "Drive Thru", "Creep" and "Tamara"), don't want the inferior Re-Animator or Living Dead sequels (especially as the only good one, "Return of the Living Dead 3", is cut except on VHS), and I really couldn't care less about any of the other films on those packs.

Another oddity is how the films have been compressed onto the DVDs. They aren't double-sided flippers as you would expect but, in the case of the 8 pack, are two single-sided DVDs with 4 films on one side. This isn't as bad as it sounds even though there is bound to be a slight loss in quality, but it's a very unusual way of doing things. It goes without saying that these are all "bare bones" DVDs with no special features either.

I'm not into DVD piracy but, as an experiment, I actually ripped the films from a few of my own DVDs and burned four of them to a DVD+R (not even a DVD-R which is slightly bigger) and the result wasn't all that different to the original give or take a few (barely noticeable) blocky artifacts occasionally. So I got to thinking that this is what the DVD manufacturers should have been doing all along rather than cramming the discs with a load of superfluous crap which nobody ever watches anyway. I don't need three commentaries, subtitles in a dozen languages, the theatrical trailer and yet another boring five minute "Making of" featurette to be able to enjoy the film itself.

With Echo Bridge releasing similar quality multipacks (and, of course, Mill Creek being the masters of this practice already), wouldn't it be nice to see all of our favourite horror movies released this way from now on? Not only would it be a lot cheaper to have enormous DVD collections but the space saving alone would be worth it. If you've ever tried to move thousands of DVDs from one house (or one country) to another, you'll know exactly what I mean.

The biggest advantage of multi-feature DVDs, however, is their ease of use. Although there have been attempts by Sony to create "DVD jukeboxes", most people have normal DVD players and having to get up to change the DVD from the box under the TV has always been annoying. Being able to watch more than one film on a single DVD has always been the ideal choice for most viewers since we're all pretty lazy and it's surprising that it's taken until now for the companies to realise that and to finally start using the storage medium properly. Possibly, it's the way that people have happily switched to the lower-quality streaming services such as Netflix and Hulu which has given everybody a well-deserved kick up the backside.

If only the DVD manufacturers would stop ramming the alleged "superior image quality" of Blu-ray down our throats at every opportunity and start creating Blu-rays of all the franchises on one disc then they might start selling a few more of them again. In the current economy, most people aren't stupid enough to waste $20 or $30 on one movie but they might still pay that for the entire "Nightmare on Elm Street", "Friday the 13th" or "Halloween" series.

Even if the movie industry is too greedy to ever go that route, we can be sure that the current trend in low-priced multipacks will continue for quite some time. Happy hunting in Wal-mart's bargain bins!

April 8, 2012

The Passion of the Christ (2004)

"A depiction of the last twelve hours in the life of Jesus of Nazareth, on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem."

If you think that Easter is all about bunnies and chocolate eggs then it's probably time for you to watch Mel Gibson's historical epic.

Of course, really the bunnies and eggs thing belongs to the pagan Spring celebration of "Ēostre" not to the Roman Catholicism which replaced it (and the Jewish Passover) with its own religious tomfoolery, giving up things for lent, and stupid names for Tuesdays and Wednesdays which I have no idea about. I always thought "Ash Wednesday" was something to do with cigarettes and I still don't know what a "shrove" is.

But, anyway, "The Passion of the Christ" is an almost flawless and extremely brutal retelling of Jesus' last moments which is made even more special by having the actors speak in either Aramaic, Hebrew or Latin according to the race of their characters. It's all very clever stuff both graphically and linguistically.

The only things which I didn't really like were the appearances of Satan (played by a woman for some reason) which I'm sure weren't in any of the gospels which I've read. I may be wrong about that though as it's been many years since I last read a Bible.

Jim Caviezel was a pretty good Jesus, not quite as good as Robert Powell in "Jesus of Nazareth" (1977), but there's only so far a very Western looking actor can take the part. I always picture Jesus as a lot more Mediterranean looking and, since I'm not a huge fan of Christian movies, I have no idea if it's a rule that all portrayals of Jesus must conform to the pictures you see in Italian churches.

Another big plus for "The Passion of the Christ" was having Monica Bellucci in it as "Magdalen" although once again cast against ethnic type. I'll watch Monica Bellucci in just about anything.

For those of you who think that I'm kidding around by praising this movie on a horror blog, just wait until you see the merciless torture which Jesus goes through here. The Romans were renowned for their cruelty and nothing has been held back in the scourging or crucifixion scenes. You can almost feel the pain!

My nephew summed it up best when he said, "If you really did something like that to somebody, they would die!" Yeah, that's kind of the point.

Even if you don't believe any of the story (which would be stupid because it's all true in spite of having no historical evidence to support any of it), if you've never seen "The Passion of the Christ", you've missed out on one of the best horror movies in the last ten years.

Happy Easter!

April 3, 2012

Dead of Night (1945)

"An architect senses impending doom as his half-remembered recurring dream turns into reality. The guests at the country house encourage him to stay as they take turns telling supernatural tales."

Although a lot of people rave about "Dead of Night" being one of Britain's finest horror anthologies, I've never really thought much of it myself. Just because it was the first to link several short horror stories together doesn't make it the best, in my opinion, although it's quite entertaining in places if you are easily pleased.

Two of the five stories are very weak and there's a stupid comedy one involving two golfers which I loathe even more than the entirety of "Shaun of the Dead" so it must be bad. The best ones for me are the racing driver's tale and the story of the ventriloquist's dummy which has a life of its own although I've seen that one done better since as well.

"Dead of Night" isn't so much dated as it is simply a rather unsatisfying experience overall. The ending is particularly messy and then the final twist is just annoyingly predictable, but at least it ties the other stories together in a better way than a lot of the wraparounds on later anthologies.

I'm keeping this review short as I really don't like "Dead of Night" all that much. It's highly overrated (especially on the IMDb of course) and there isn't one single moment that's actually scary in it.

If you like "The Twilight Zone" TV series, you'll probably get something out of "Dead of Night" but, best of all, you can watch it for free on YouTube (in the video which I've posted above). I don't recommend this as a purchase or even a rental as it's just one of those average films which you can only watch once and will then forget about quite quickly.

April 1, 2012

South African director, Daaf Lirpa Van Loof, beats Tom Six to the megapede. "The Human Megapede" is available on DVD today!

Johannesburg based pop video director, Daaf Lirpa Van Loof, previously known for assisting on Justin Bieber's music videos, has stunned the world by creating the horror movie which Tom Six has only dreamt about.

According to the Associated Press, "The Human Megapede" features over 1000 victims joined in various ways including, controversially, 50 pairs of real conjoined twins sewn together.

Daaf Van Loof, who prefers to go by the name, Lirpa Loof, says that it took him over two years to assemble the cast but far less than that to disassemble them again.

Loof says, "The hardest part was acquiring the various surgical instruments used in the operation scenes. South Africa has restrictions on the sale of medical supplies so we found ourselves having to improvise with some nasty looking kitchen equipment."

Test screenings of "The Human Megapede" have shocked audiences throughout Johannesburg, some of whom say that the movie contained "The worst atrocities ever inflicted on other human beings outside of a Nazi concentration camp".

Several audience members allegedly fainted or threw up in the aisles over one particularly nasty scene involving a bolt cutter used to sever the spinal columns of four Down-syndromed teenagers who comprised one of the segments.

The South African government has already taken steps to ban the film outright but Loof is adamant that his film is a work of art. "My film has to be seen. If it gets banned in my own country, I will simply sell it overseas instead," Loof said as he recently made a deal with Lionsgate.

DVD and Blu-ray editions of this controversial extreme horror will be on sale today in all branches of Best Buy and FYE in the United States and Virgin Megastores across the UK.