August 2, 2011

Taintlight (2009)

"When lovely young Stella strikes up a romance with pale, brooding vampire Edgar, the couple must navigate the treacherous waters of human-undead love and fend off the amorous advances of a werewolf named Jack. Meanwhile, another brood of bloodsuckers seeks to impale Edgar and claim Stella for themselves."

It may only have a running time of an hour but "Taintlight" was still 50 minutes too long for me. Although I didn't actually fast-forward it to get it over with, I was sorely tempted to do so.

"Taintlight" has to be the unfunniest and most poorly produced parody that I have ever seen. The only thing which kept me watching was that Meredith Host had some endearing expressions and was quite pretty. There were a couple of moments where she nailed the impersonation of Bella but they were few and far between.

As a more adult parody version of "Twilight" than "Vampires Suck", it was amusing for the first few minutes but it turned out to be a one trick pony and just got boring. The fact that it all looked like a YouTube video (and probably was one) didn't help much either.

I'm sure everyone involved had a lot of fun mugging at each other and making their eyes bulge as much as possible but I didn't get any enjoyment out of watching them.

How the hell did this crap get on Netflix?

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