July 7, 2011

The Top Ten Most Evil Cat Deaths

Ten reasons why I will never watch any of these horror movies again or ten reasons why, if you are also a cat lover, you should boycott them entirely.

1. Re-Animator (1985)

Poor Rufus. Not only does he get killed in suspicious circumstances but he's then brought back to life only to get killed again, have his back broken, and then get brought back to life again. Sick stuff.

2. The Collector (2009)

Glued to the floor by acid and then guillotined by a window after being thrown to safety. Absolutely horrible and unnecessary.

3. Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

The only good thing you can say about Sugar's death is that it's mercifully quick. There is still absolutely no reason why Eddie Murphy's character should shoot him and the way he explodes in mid-air is not at all funny.

4. The New Daughter (2009)

Marmalade doesn't get much chance to enjoy his new home before the evil Mound-Walkers get him. It's purely gratuitous as they have nothing to gain from his death.

5. Inhabited (2003)

Pre-dating "The New Daughter" but sharing a similar plot, another ginger cat, this time named Simon, gets lured into a nasty death at the hands of "The Huldre", an ancient race of faerie-like beings who live under a family home.

6. Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Zeke puts up a hell of a fight against the monstrous spiders and, obviously, the cartoonish cat imprints in the plaster and screams of battle are all special effects, but this is still awful to watch.

7. Man's Best Friend (1993)

A disgusting genetically-mutated Rottweiler called Max eats this poor cat whole. It's a completely ridiculous moment and spoils any sympathy that you might have for the dog.

8. Bloody Mallory (2002)

Mallory runs this innocent black cat over just in case it's a demon in disguise. Yes, unfortunately, cats do tend to get themselves accidentally run over by cars but to show someone actually doing this on purpose is completely thoughtless.

9. Drag Me to Hell (2009)

The ill-fated Kitty's murder occurs off-camera but you do see the aftermath and she makes an horrific reappearance later. If you had any sympathy for banker Christine Brown before, you certainly won't have afterwards.

10. Inferno (1980)

This bag full of cats gets drowned in the river. On the bright side, their evil killer gets eaten by rats soon afterwards. "Inferno" is an awful Dario Argento movie which hardly anyone likes or wants to watch anyway.

Dishonourable mentions also go to Church from "Pet Sematary" (1989) who becomes the star of the film after being brought back from the dead severely wrong, Dandelo from the original version of "The Fly" (1958) who gets turned into a stream of cat atoms by the teleporter but still exists, and, of course, the deaths of all the black cats named Pluto in any of "The Black Cat" adaptations.

Let's hope that there are no more horror movies featuring such cruelty to cats. We get the point and this is quite enough, thank you.

Yes, it may only be fiction, but there are some very sick people who get off on stuff like this, and animal rescues/shelters are full of animals who have been mistreated.

If you have nothing better to do today, why not go to your local shelter (especially as they are little more than cunningly disguised animal control centres in the USA) and save a life? They may be overcrowded with kittens right now, but please adopt an older cat instead.

Remember also that a cat is for life and is not a toy to take home as a whim.

NEVER, ever, declaw! It's maiming by another name and it's beyond cruel. If you care more about your cheap crappy furniture than you do your cat then you simply shouldn't have a cat in the first place.

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