February 24, 2011

Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)



"In San Cazador, California, the clumsy vampire hunter Edgar Frog is evicted from his trailer. But the best-seller writer Gwen Lieber offers him a job to destroy the head vampire DJ X that promotes worldwide raves to increase his army of undead."

I've never been overly keen on "The Lost Boys" and the appalling "The Tribe" sequel was pretty much a bigger nail in the coffin to the franchise continuing than Corey Haim's death last year. I knew that this sequel was coming but really had no interest in watching it until I got bored enough to give it a go. Well, obviously I got bored enough.

I'm not going to go into too much detail with this review other than to say that "The Thirst" was about a hundred times better than "The Tribe". If you are a fan of the original film then it's probably better to just skip over the first sequel and try to forget that it ever existed. Nothing in "The Thirst" is reliant on anything that happened in "The Tribe" anyway.

The plot is pretty simple but there are a few flashbacks to "The Lost Boys" mainly to remember Corey Haim. It's another overly comedic vampire film with nothing really horrific about it apart from some splattery vampire deaths which will probably amuse younger teenagers everywhere even if it is R-rated for no good reason whatsoever.

There are a lot of jokes at the expense of "Twilight" including the uber sexy author who hires Corey Feldman to rescue her brother. Actually if Stephanie Meyer really looked like Tanit Phoenix then I'm sure that a lot more heterosexual teenage boys would be into her books. I was a bit thrown by Tanit's accent until I realised that she was actually South African although she almost managed to sound English. I don't think many people would notice and probably think that she's Australian.

Other than a few stupidly designed weapons, a new girlfriend for Edgar with a secret which I'm not going to spoil for you but will undoubtedly be made more of in yet another sequel one day, and a more than telegraphed twist during the denouement, there was nothing new to "The Thirst" which you haven't already seen in dozens of other vampire movies. It has a kind of '80s feel to it at times which I'm sure was the intention but it's all very tame stuff horror-wise for the 21st century.

I don't honestly know if I should recommend "Lost Boys: The Thirst". Just because it was better than the first sequel doesn't mean that it was a good film. I suppose it was enjoyable enough in the same superficial way that a bad episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is still watchable when there's nothing else on television.

February 22, 2011

I got my Netflix back!

It seems like I haven't written anything on this blog for ages not only due to the dearth of new horror movies but also because I put my Netflix account on hold for three months. I'd watched 99.9% of the horror DVDs available through Netflix and, to be brutally honest, I was bored with it and somewhat pissed off that they still hadn't made it possible to watch the streaming movies on Linux or older Apple PPC computers.

I still also have an old Pentium 4 laptop which I was using for Ubuntu 10.10 but I decided to wipe it and reinstall Windows XP on it just to watch Netflix. It's annoying that I had to do it especially as those Roku boxes which Netflix promote are Linux based. But, anyway, it's done now and I've been watching all sorts of things again not just horror movies.

In the last week, I have seen "Don't Look Back" (with Monica Bellucci and Sophie Marceau), "The Assassin Next Door", "Lost Boys: The Thirst", "The Haunting of Molly Hartley" (even though I turned it off after the only pretty girl, Jessica Lowndes, got killed off five minutes in), "Wilderness" (the one about the borstal boys not the werewolf one), "Dorian Gray", "Blood and Roses", "From Within", "Vampyres" (1975) and "Horsemen".

Of course I've been watching a lot of other crap too such as old episodes of "Men Behaving Badly" (the British version obviously), "Jersey Shore" and a lot of foreign language films which I can't recommend to anyone including, "Ma Mere", "Daniel & Ana", and "Dogtooth".

The unfortunate thing is that if I keep going at my normal rate then I'll end up watching every "new" film that Netflix has to offer within another month and will still not be writing many reviews of them.

Suffice it to say that Netflix is both a blessing and a curse if you write a movie review blog. I've found myself watching ten minutes of something here and 5 minutes of something else there then abandoning films or falling asleep to them because they weren't worth the effort of watching all the way through. Before Netflix I'd watch everything in its entirety whether it was good, bad or somewhere inbetween.

A couple of days ago, I saw the first ten minutes of "Amusement" then clicked it off because I was bored and watched almost two minutes of "Taintlight" because it was all that I could stand of that utter rubbish too. I skipped through Melissa Bacelar's "Skinned Alive" on fast forward (chapter by chapter) because I couldn't get into it and then ended up watching a big chunk of "Phone" (the 2004 Korean horror). How my viewing habits have changed!

I really don't think that the "streaming media" idea is a good one if you really love films. When a real physical DVD arrives through the post, I tend to enjoy it far more. I just started watching "Cracker" (the ITV one, season two) and the final episode should arrive today. I don't mind the wait for the DVDs as it gives me something to look forward to in the mail box other than bills. It's like a little present to myself every couple of days.

One positive thing about the streaming films though is that I've probably saved a ton of money not blind buying DVDs from the local "Swap Shop". The obvious knock-on effect though is that if everybody does the same thing, there probably won't even be DVDs to buy anywhere in a few years time because all the DVD sellers will be out of business.

Do you have Netflix? How do you use it? Do you prefer DVDs or watching movies online? Let me know in the comments below.

February 7, 2011

Black Swan (2010)



"A ballet dancer wins the lead in 'Swan Lake' and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan - Princess Odette - but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odette's evil sister, Odile, the Black Swan."

In spite of being labelled as a "psychological horror" by some misguided individuals, "Black Swan" is an overhyped, boring and tedious waste of time. It's just a nonsensical drama with elements of much better films thrown in and some titillating scenes just so that you don't nod off completely.

Vincent Cassel and Barbara Hershey both look really old, Natalie Portman has horrible feet and plays with herself a lot, and Mila Kunis gets to do some fantasy lesbian action for anyone who cares. Everybody seems to be filmed in extreme close-up too much and all look as if they need a good wash. You can almost smell the stench of the sweaty, anorexic ballet dancers.

On the plus side, there's some nice set dressing with lots of black and white objects for the hard of understanding.

I absolutely hated this film on every level.