July 20, 2010

Inception (2010)


"In a world where technology exists to enter the human mind through dream invasion, a single idea within one's mind can be the most dangerous weapon or the most valuable asset."

I haven't seen this film and have no interest in seeing it either. I'm only writing this because I just know that reviews of 'Inception" are going to start appearing all over horror blogs and sites even though IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HORROR!!!

Having checked out the IMDb, it is quite possible that "Inception" is one of the best of this year's "Summer blockbusters". I'm a bit incredulous at how it has received a rating of 9.3 out of 10 when most of the reviews on the IMDb say it's "nearly as good as The Dark Knight"!!! WTF??? "The Dark Knight" was an absolutely awful film and is up there with "Batman & Robin" for being one of the worst Batman films that I've ever had the misfortune to watch. Yeah, Heath Ledger was good but the rest? Give me a break.

So from Christian Bale growling through one terrible movie, Christopher Nolan thinks he can cast another actor I can't stand, Leonardo DiCaprio, and make Sci-Fi now? I might have had more interest if Ellen Page and Cillian Murphy weren't in it either. Can you imagine the torture of having to endure all three of those "actors" for nearly two and a half hours?

Seriously, there is something wrong with people who rate these massive CGI-filled abominations. I've seen the trailer and, yes, the computer effects are well done but they are still COMPUTER EFFECTS! It's lazy and they always look fake even though the technology has improved enormously since "Jurassic Park" and Missa Jar-Jar Binks or whatever the hell that thing was called in George Lucas' re-raping of "Star Wars".

But I'm not a filmmaker, I just watch a lot of films. I pay my money and that gives me the right to bitch and moan about whatever I want to when it comes to my entertainment. I can't honestly say that I would make a movie any differently to the ones that are being released lately but I can say that I wouldn't put an ass-numbingly long borefest such as "Inception" into movie theatres in the middle of Summer.

I don't know if any of you have even seen this film or if, like me, you have about as much interest in it as watching "Marmaduke" in a cinema full of cellphone wielding eight year olds. Personally, I want to see a nice big fat juicy ADULT horror movie again soon rather than having to rewatch my DVD collection over and over because there's nothing new or good out there.

Yeah, I'm on a rant here. I don't want any more remakes, PG-13 horrors with overly loud noises instead of atmosphere, or groups of friends with camcorders pretending to be actors and flooding the Netflix warehouse with self-made DVDs of their infantile crap. I want a real big budget horror movie and I want it now! Monsters, ghosts, vampires, even witches, I'll watch just about anything. No more virus movies or pretty teen slashers though, puh-lease.

Will I ever watch "Inception", do you think? Of course I will when it ends up in the $5 Wal-Mart bin in six months time. Until that day comes, I'll just watch my old VHS tape of "The Thirteenth Floor". After all, it's exactly the same story, isn't it?

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