July 16, 2002

Death Factory (2002)

"A woman working at a biological research facility becomes ill when she contracts a deadly, new virus. Sometime after, she becomes a half-monster beast and kills her old co-workers. Some time later, a group of teens go into the old research facility to have a party and come face-to-face with the creature."

As soon as this started with still images of an old bicycle, some broken walls, and the obligatory rundown factory shot, I just knew I was in trouble, or rather, that the film was. Seeing Ron Jeremy's name among the credits didn't exactly inspire me either. Nonetheless, I still attempted to watch this appalling mess on the offchance that I might see one of the actresses get nudie. I didn't have to wait long!

Made in 2002 but released two years later in 2004, this film is basically just an excuse to get half a dozen B movie actresses (a couple of which have gone on to do some TV work) naked and covered in fake blood.

"What's so wrong in that?" I hear you ask. Well, nothing at all if that's all your idea of a horror film is, but I need a little bit more on horror night to keep me entertained. Such things as good acting, camerawork, a good story and, above all, something remotely scary are my requirements, and none of them were forthcoming here.

The girls all did a suitable job of looking pretty, and the male actors were suitably annoying in a "hurry up and die" kind of way, but there was nothing scary in this, and every time it got a bit erotic it was cut short. At least I didn't have to watch Ron Jeremy doing anything despicable though. His role is mercifully short as a drunken bum who falls foul of the monster quite early on.

I really can't recommend this film to anyone. It's as bad as a porno film without any porn.

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