September 18, 2005

Shower of Blood (2004)

"Five sexy college friends venture out on a road trip. A detour to Lisa's Uncle Marty's house leads them into the Galloway Forest which is known for mysterious disappearances and rumors of cannibalism. Uncle Marty does not appear to be home so Lisa finds a hidden key, which unlocks the door to a night full of terror. As Lisa experiences bizarre visions, she wonders about her darkest family secrets. The mysterious Uncle Marty has a taste for beauty and blood. Nothing is as it seems as the friends become engulfed in his twisted world. As the night of fear and seduction continues, friends become enemies; Evil reigns in the Darkness!"

So, in spite of not feeling 100%, I still took it upon myself to be tortured even more with this piece of dirt. This crap was terrible from start to finish.

Nobody in this film has any acting ability whatsoever. I am pretty sure a couple of the "actors" may even be educationally challenged. They deliver their lines like a five year old who has only just learnt the alphabet and is then forced to read aloud to class.

There is no chemistry between anyone, nobody reacts to what the previous person has said without a discernable delay, and I really think the box that the DVD comes in has more of an emotional range.

I would like to say that the considerable amount of nudity redeemed things but even that was so unerotic that there was nothing good about this film at all.

Well, I suppose you could spend your time marvelling at the skill of the surgeon who created those big fake breasts and looking for the scars like I did.

In spite of having no atmosphere, the ultra modern house that it was filmed in looked nice though. Interior designers might appreciate this film especially if they are carpenters. It has more wooden performances than an IKEA kitchen.

My rating: 0 out of 10. Not funny, not scary, not sexy. Oh yes, it's another Brain Damage film... so you get exactly what you would expect. It's not even a case of being so bad that it's funny, it's just boring.

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